About 9 months ago I started writing a blog, but didn't tell any of you. It was my way of getting things out that my obvious rep wouldn't allow, such as feelings. Or even anything that wasn't an insult in some way, however obscure. Yes, world, to most of you I am a dick. A douche. Assorted negative words beginning with the letter 'd'. Trying to be otherwise would be out of character and probably laughed at. In the end, why fight it? Why change the habit of a lifetime? Well, a few years. If everything around you, not just socially but in your own home as well, shapes you into someone very different from others, what could you do?
I'm fighting it. Kinda. I know I'm a pretty good person, people like me, I like (some.... very few.... maybe....) people. Hilarity fills every minute between my friends and brothers, not in the same setting. As mentioned a few post ago, I like to laugh. Serious situations are okay, but only if they can be turned into a laugh eventually, because I've decided it helps. You're welcome. At the same time, I'm trying out the whole 'being a good person' thing, even if it does cost a few jokes. It's great. 5 of my group went swimming last week, and I had the best laugh for a long time. I swear I should do stand up. Kidding. Maybe some serious sanding-down of my ego.
But seriously though, I'm being better and it feels great. It's actually been my plan since before Easter, but it got me nowhere. Things actually ended up worse, so I decided to be as bad as I could be for a few days, a petulant rebellion toward anything positive, until it got really tiring. Now things are cool :).
This is really poorly written. My grammar is terrible and the green lines keep springing up underneath my sentences. Does anyone actually know what "Fragment (consider revising)" means? Or is it just a way to piss over anyone lower than Microsoft's apparently prestigious writing ability? Bastard companies. I'm blaming it on being really tired, which is something else new. I can't stay up anywhere near as late as usual, so I think I can finally consider myself 'old' or 'grown up'. I now need lots of sleep and food and other 'necessities'. Pfft.
It's going to take a while, this metamorphosis from Decepticon to Autobot. From Sith to Jedi. From marzipan to cheese. Luckily it's the summer now, so nothing to worry about. At all. No school to be constantly angry at or Kesbians to viscously murder. Just sun and friends and loveliness and awesomeness. I'm really looking forward to it :).
Swimming again on Wednesday or Thursday, Camping Saturday, week off then the house to myself for a week from the 28th :D. Then people are getting back from Uni, more campings and parties and Lynn days and everyting :). Plus there's Subway to visit. A lot.
This post has been so gay it may as well have it's own vagina. That makes sense. I'm not even going to post a link on Facebook, because I will get laughed at. A friend asked why I keep the whole 'public diary thing', and I honestly didn't know. Just missing my friends I think.
PEACE X
No comments:
Post a Comment